The NEXT Mariah Carey

One year for Christmas I received the greatest gift a little girl could receive: the Mariah Carey music box cassette tape. I listened to that cassette tape every single day. Numerous times every day. EVERY DAY. I knew exactly how long to rewind each song on my little boom box to get back to the beginning of the song. I knew every word.

Let's clarify, I did not just listen, I sang along. Aloud. Very loudly. I belted those tunes with my entire soul and being. I had found my calling, and luckily I "sounded" exactly like Mariah Carey. I would daydream about my album cover, how I would do my hair, should I change my name? My concerts were always closed without an audience. So Missy had to sneak and listen outside of my locked door. One time when I was telling her about my dreams she said, "Sarah, sometimes I listen to you sing and you really are good." I was touched, "Really? You really think so?" She looked almost like she even admired me as she nodded her little head and said, "Yeah you really do." I remember this bonding moment because we actually weren't fighting.

Fast forward a few Mariah Carey albums later. I still "sing" exactly like Mariah Carey, and now get her albums in CD format. I was a few years deep in my commitment to become the next Mariah Carey, and couldn't WAIT for stardom! One day after a closed door room concert I was really pumped. I ran down stairs to find someone to share my excitement with. Besides Missy, I had kept this to myself. Aha! There was my dad washing the dishes. I mustered all my courage, walked over to him and struck up a convo. Then I let the truth come out. "Dad, when I grow up I want to be a singer!"

Enter the montage of me imagining my stardom, fame, success, album covers, wardrobe, awards ceremonies and the awards. Beaming ear to ear and very proud, I looked up to my Dad as I realized he was waiting an awful long time to respond.

"Sarah, I don't think singing is your strong point, perhaps you should peruse some of the other things you are interested in."

This was the moment my heart broke. Shattered. It was devastating. I just turned around and walked upstairs to my room silently, where I had some form of a nervous breakdown. It took me a very long time to recover from that, but I know my dad had my best interests at heart. In fact, he saved me from embarrassing the hell outta myself at some American Idol audition, because confidence was the one thing I was NOT lacking. I sounded NOTHING like Mariah Carey. At all. Throughout my life, whenever I've met a horrible singer who thought they could sing, I was sad for them. They should have had a dad like mine: he kept it real.

ps. My dad swear he never said this. I am telling you he did, it has been burned in my memory.

pps. I have no idea why Missy though I was a good singer. I know she really thought I could sing, but perhaps we are both tone deaf as hell.

pps. This is also what caused me to focus on being a movie star. I won't get an album cover, but that is OK!