SLEEP SARAH!!! (intro)

I have a bit of a reputation as a sweet, kind, friendly, outgoing, helpful, gung-ho type of person. It is safe to say that a good majority of people that I encounter feel this way. (I say this very humbly, I promise!) Luckily, most of them have never encountered SLEEP SARAH!

SLEEP SARAH is my alter ego that I had absolutely no idea existed for a long time. Or, perhaps I was in denial. SLEEP SARAH is mean, short tempered, angry, often incoherent, and unreasonable. She visits in the moments when I am half asleep, just waking up, or about to fall asleep. BUT! I can go months without SLEEP SARAH making an appearance.

So how was she discovered? My unsuspecting college boyfriend stumbled into her trap. Up until his discovery I considered myself the good sister. Missy has been known to be a terror since toddler-hood. My parents argued over who had to wake her up because she was such a misery. It never even occurred to me that I was similar. In fact, when confronted with the existence of SLEEP SARAH , I vehemently denied it- and the fact that Missy was the one like that was my defense. That was until the evidence just kept mounting. Poor ex-boyfriend. I have drawn a few diagrams to show you all:

DIAMGRAM 1 : NORMAL SARAH

Boyfriend is tall, muscular black man that is often mistaken for an NFL linebacker (he is demonstrating is muscles right now). Sarah is a short white woman merrily waving and being friendly. Please notice Sarah's lack of any intimidating features.

DIAMGRAM 2 : SLEEP SARAH

Boyfriend is SCARED. Sarah has transformed into huge mean monster of anger. Height, weight, racial stereotypes aside... SLEEP SARAH is scary- and currently yelling incoherent meanness. Boyfriend often does best to not arouse her into existence, and has curled into a tiny ball of fear.

So... that about sums it up. Sometimes all SLEEP SARAH does is spout random words, or jump out of bed talking nonsense. Sometimes she is just mildly confused and amusing. Unfortunately, this is not the case most of the time. SLEEP SARAH will accuse you of doing everything wrong, and that you did it just to piss her off. SLEEP SARAH assumes the worst in you, and will yell at you about it. If you understand what SLEEP SARAH is even saying it makes you more scared. SLEEP SARAH makes up things to be mad at you about, but is convinced it really happened. Perhaps, it was a dream. SLEEP SARAH has punched said ex-boyfriend in the face accidentally, but forcefully. Worst of all, SLEEP SARAH absolutely cannot stand if you get mad at her for her behavior, because it was all completely justified, and you should just understand...seeing as how you love her and all.

It's not pretty (see my picture at the top of this post...not cute) But we all must admit we can't always be so darling! lol!

I am going to, over time, share some of these SLEEP SARAH stories!
STAY TUNED!!!