Bernero Girls are Ride or Die

During my childhood, I spent a lot of time at daycare. It was always interesting. In fact, I am sure I will have numerous stories to share with you guys about it. But today, I have a little story for you about a certain Billy Johnson, and my sister Missy. Billy Johnson was the only boy at daycare during that time. I was probably in the second or third grade, so Missy was in K or first. He loved to pick on us and try and make us cry. He was the person that made me embarrassed about my (very Italian) very dramatic hand gestures when I spoke. I had actually never noticed it until he tormented me about it. And in case you are new to my blog, Missy and I certainly did not get along. Of course we stuck together at times, but I often ignored her. I was pretty mean to her. We literally argued about EVERYTHING. Any time there was an opportunity, we fought about it. "Stop touching me!" was a common fight kick off. You can ask anyone in my family... in fact, after college when we decided to live together everyone "strongly advised against it." It was quite the scandal!

Daycare was no exception. One day we were all out back and Billy Johnson kept cutting me off and being mean to me. Me, Missy, Billy Johnson and Rachel (his sister) were standing there and Billy Johnson would not stop. He relentlessly picked at me. I eventually cracked! I started to cry. I don’t really remember what happened exactly after that, but I know that I quickly got over it. There were only the 4 of us our age to play with, so I didn’t have many options. Fast forward a few hours, Billy Johnson and I were having a jumping off of the swings contest. After a few fun rounds, we were gently swinging, preparing to really get the swinging momentum going again, when all of the sudden Billy Johnson jerks back.

As my good friend Sofia Petrillo (Golden Girls) used to say: "Picture it," little cherub faced, blonde haired, big blue innocent eyed little girl name Missy. Well, do not be fooled! Missy had her little arms around Billy Johnson's neck, and had pulled back as hard as she could. As he was hanging on for dear life to the chains of the swings, little Missy was seriously trying to kill Billy Johnson.

There was a moment of pause as we recuperated from the shock. Then Rachel and I run to get the daycare lady, “MISSY IS CHOKING BILLY ON THE SWINGS!!!!” this moment always makes me appreciate daycare ladies worldwide. Can you imagine hearing that? LOL! In the end, Billy Johnson did not die. And Missy would not even speak to anyone. No one knew what the hell happened to her. This was definitely out of character. She was happy go lucky, but very shy and quiet. We spent the rest of the day trying to figure it out, but she was quarantined from us.

Finally, my Dad came and picked us up. Apparently, when my dad asked why she choked Billy, her response was, “He made Sarah cry.”

Que the tender moment! AAAwwwwwwwwww! I didn't even know that Missy cared that he made me cry! And side note: there was a while in between the crying incident and the choke out. She was brewing about this for a seriously long time, and waited for the perfect moment to strike. I was completely over it, but Missy obviously was not. I wonder if my parents were a bit concerned. It mattered not to me that she maliciously calculated the perfect moment to strike revenge, because I was so moved that she stuck up for me- her big sister. Plus, I appreciate the fact that she truly committed to the revenge- not a slap, not a kick, not mean words, but straight to the death strike! She was ready to serve that juvi for me- that is ride or die for sure. LOL!!!

I love you Missy


moral of the story: family can pick and fight at each other, but they don't stand for other people messing with their fam.

picture above: me and missy at my birthday shin-dig at fridays this year. We have grown up a lot. Don't forget, mess with me and you mess with Missy the Strangler!!!! Don't mess with the Bernero Girls!

Quote of the Week: 3

This week, I have two for you in one sha-bang! (lucky you) I am putting them in the same post because they are related, and from the same person. And I needed both today.

"Spiritual progress is like detoxification. Things have to come up in order to be released. Once we have asked to be healed, then our unhealed places are forced to the surface."
-Marianne Williamson

This one really touched me because I am on my own spiritual journey. I definitely asked for it, and since then, so many things have come up and challenged me. It has been very difficult at times, but also rewarding. Like training muscles at the gym. So this was a nice reminder this morning.

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The second quote

"In every community, there is work to be done. In every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every heart there is the power to do it."
-Marianne Williamson

This quote makes me think on both the macro and micro level simultaneously. So many things come to mind all at once, that the mind could become overwhelmed. But the second sentence causes a pause, and moment of reflection. Even in our everyday lives we can do work in ours and others' communities, and help heal the wounds of nations. Both of which we are in dire need of.

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How are they connected? I want to be the best person I can be, in order to help others. I am on this journey, and the more I learn about myself, the more I learn about this world. And visa versa.

I not only need a big and powerful heart, but knowledge of self in order to wield my tools.


pic at top: my heart necklace that serves as a little reminder

Snorts and Giggles

You know I love multiculturalism! This video takes it to a new hilarious level!!!

I am sorry, but I always want to be able to watch this video, so I will glue it to the pages of my blog! (awesomeness x like a thousand!)

Black and Jewish (Black and Yellow Parody) from Kat Graham

ps. I definitely snorted and giggled while watching this (I was def at work)

SLEEP SARAH!!! (intro)

I have a bit of a reputation as a sweet, kind, friendly, outgoing, helpful, gung-ho type of person. It is safe to say that a good majority of people that I encounter feel this way. (I say this very humbly, I promise!) Luckily, most of them have never encountered SLEEP SARAH!

SLEEP SARAH is my alter ego that I had absolutely no idea existed for a long time. Or, perhaps I was in denial. SLEEP SARAH is mean, short tempered, angry, often incoherent, and unreasonable. She visits in the moments when I am half asleep, just waking up, or about to fall asleep. BUT! I can go months without SLEEP SARAH making an appearance.

So how was she discovered? My unsuspecting college boyfriend stumbled into her trap. Up until his discovery I considered myself the good sister. Missy has been known to be a terror since toddler-hood. My parents argued over who had to wake her up because she was such a misery. It never even occurred to me that I was similar. In fact, when confronted with the existence of SLEEP SARAH , I vehemently denied it- and the fact that Missy was the one like that was my defense. That was until the evidence just kept mounting. Poor ex-boyfriend. I have drawn a few diagrams to show you all:

DIAMGRAM 1 : NORMAL SARAH

Boyfriend is tall, muscular black man that is often mistaken for an NFL linebacker (he is demonstrating is muscles right now). Sarah is a short white woman merrily waving and being friendly. Please notice Sarah's lack of any intimidating features.

DIAMGRAM 2 : SLEEP SARAH

Boyfriend is SCARED. Sarah has transformed into huge mean monster of anger. Height, weight, racial stereotypes aside... SLEEP SARAH is scary- and currently yelling incoherent meanness. Boyfriend often does best to not arouse her into existence, and has curled into a tiny ball of fear.

So... that about sums it up. Sometimes all SLEEP SARAH does is spout random words, or jump out of bed talking nonsense. Sometimes she is just mildly confused and amusing. Unfortunately, this is not the case most of the time. SLEEP SARAH will accuse you of doing everything wrong, and that you did it just to piss her off. SLEEP SARAH assumes the worst in you, and will yell at you about it. If you understand what SLEEP SARAH is even saying it makes you more scared. SLEEP SARAH makes up things to be mad at you about, but is convinced it really happened. Perhaps, it was a dream. SLEEP SARAH has punched said ex-boyfriend in the face accidentally, but forcefully. Worst of all, SLEEP SARAH absolutely cannot stand if you get mad at her for her behavior, because it was all completely justified, and you should just understand...seeing as how you love her and all.

It's not pretty (see my picture at the top of this post...not cute) But we all must admit we can't always be so darling! lol!

I am going to, over time, share some of these SLEEP SARAH stories!
STAY TUNED!!!

Quote of the Week: 2

I am going to cheat a little, because I am really inspired by this quote and give you guys an extra quote this week!

"Art is not what you see, but what you make others see."
-Edgar Degas

I keep this quote posted at my design job desk to inspire myself. Design is art, and its purpose is to communicate. Very fitting quote indeed. But this quote touches on other aspects and passions of my life as well.

Here are some paintings from Degas. What do these pieces make you see?

Blue Dancer

Dancer

Quote of the Week: 1

So... I LOVE quotes! Therefore, I am going to start putting some of my favs on here! Funny, inspirational, whatever! If I like it, I'll share with you guys!

Quote of the week this week is:

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”
-Audrey Hepburn


above is a little sketch by yours truly inspired by quote!

F-in Steve

I feel super special because I have been harassed to post again!!! YAY!!! lol! Sorry I have taken so long- I have been uber busy! but NO EXCUSES!

ONWARD...

Please look at this picture:



Yes, they are real. One of our clients from my job#1 (I have two) is located in an office building with this displayed in all it's glory for people to view. Odd, I know. Also, kinda sad. I don't like stuffed animals. However, this made me think of a funny story from my childhood.

[THIS STORY IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION]
I once had a stepdad named Steve. He was cool, in that only ate cheesestakes, cigarette smoking, beer drinking, using the f-bomb more times in a sentence than the letter e, rough around the edges, scared the hell outta 9 year old me, sorta way. He meant well, but we were just different people. Even though my family was loud, he was loud in a different kinda way, and he scared me! Poor guy, I think he really did try to relate to me too. It was the f-bomb every other word that was probably too much for my do-gooder personality. (I did not use curse words until I was like 20)

So one day, my absolute favorite teacher, Mrs. Edwards, taught us about Polar Bears! It was so fascinating and amazing that I told everyone I encountered about these new tidbits of info!!! That weekend, my mom picked me and Missy up and Steve was with her. When we stopped at a gas station and my mom was in the store (or pumping gas or something) my excitement of the new info trumped my Steve fear. I told Steve all about Polar Bears having black skin, and translucent, hollow hair, and that they reflect the whiteness of the snow, etc. He cut me off mid info sharing.

"Who the f told you that s?" (the italic letters represent the corresponding curse word)

I was stunned silent for a moment. I timidly answered, "My teacher, Mrs. Edwards." He could not believe it. "S, what the f kinda f-in teachers they f-in got in these motherf-in schools that she would f-in tell you some motherf-in bs like this s!!?!?!" He was genuinely pissed. "What kinda f-in sense does that f-in make that a motherf-in polar bear would f-in have black a skin and f-in see through motherf-in hair. What the f kinda f-in teacher was this?

I tried to stick up for my teacher but did not have the courage and the response was always similar to the above. At some point in time I started to silently cry. The only moment of hope was when my mom opened the car door and got it. But before I could murmur anything he said, "Do you f-in know what the f they are teaching your f-in daughter in these motherf-in schools?! These f-in teachers, I'll tell ya, its f-in crazy!" At which point he described the Polar Bear info incorrectly and slightly exaggerated and made me and Mrs. Edwards look ridiculous.

He could use the f word as a noun, preposition, adjective, you name it. His skill in the art of the f word was and still is unmatched to this day. I barely do it justice. It was, without a doubt, his favorite and most-used word.

It sounds kinda sad, but I laugh at this story! It is hilarious, but I was blown away at the time. I hope you guys think it is funny too. He genuinely was concerned about my education, he just did not know how to show it. And it cracks me up that he had absolutely no filter for a 9 year old. We did eventually get comfortable around each other, but it took quite a while. I just don't think he understood little kids, let alone little girls AT ALL.

Truthfully, the only thing that affected me long term was the fact that I didn't stick up for my teacher whom I admired and respected. From then on, if anyone challenged my info I vehemently stuck up for those facts!

moral of the story: (there are 2)
1. Stick up for what you know is right, and the people whom you respect
2. Sometimes people mean well, or at least don't mean harm, but just do not know how to relate (give each other a chance)

Dancing Black Chuckie

When I was in college, me and a small group of friends would sometimes go to the waffle house in the middle of the night. The waffle house was like 30 mins away, but every once in a while we couldn’t stand it anymore and would make the trip.

One night our friend Ryan told us some stories of his days working at Chuck e Cheese. Needless to say, they were all pretty funny. But one story was the greatest of them all! Even though his job was to make the pizzas, he sometimes had to fill in for whoever was supposed to be playing Chuckie. Unfortunately, he did not know the chuckie dances, so would make up other dances. He would do the harlem shake, crypt walk, etc. He hated doing it, but the kids loved it. The regular Chuckie was white, and Ryan is black. Some of the regular kids knew who was wearing the suit by the dance moves. It got to the point that they would request him as “the black chuckie”. Or complain to their moms that this chuckie wasn’t as good as “the black chuckie.” Please note that they never saw his skin, they just intrinsically knew.

Everyone was dying laughing at this story. This friend of mine actually knew my mom pretty well, and she thought he was hilarious. So after we made fun of him for a while I threatened to call my mom and tell her the embarrassing story if he didn’t show us some of his famous Chuckie dance movies. He refused to comply. After joking around a bit about the threat, it kinda became intense and I was NOT going to back down. While waving my phone in the air with my thumb hovering over the call button I commanded him to dance right there in the waffle house!

He adamantly refused. So I called my mom. At 2 am. On a weeknight. To tell her the ”black dancing chuckie” story. I did wake her up, but she loved the story. We were all laughing all over again. Then I let my mom go back to sleep.

About 15 mins later my phone rang, and it was my mom. She was upset and it took me a minute to get the story out of her. Apparently, once she got off the phone, she realized she smelled something. The whole house was filled with carbon monoxide. So she called 911 and they were on their way, but she was kinda freaked out. So we paid our bill and went over to her house. She was (quit comically despite the situation) sitting out in the car with two dogs, a cat and a giant bird cage holding a parrot.

After the fire trucks and everything cleared we got the full scoop. The leak had not been happening very long when I called, but it was long enough for her to smell it. Another hour or so and all the animals would have died. She would have without a doubt not made it until morning. If I had not called her that night she would have died. His hilarious story and my jerky decision to wake my mom up in the middle of the night saved her life!!!

Scary!

God sure works in mysterious ways! Shout out to all those ppl out there dressed as Chuck e Cheese, dancing for kids nationwide. Your stories may save someone’s life one day! HAHAHAHAAHAHA!

ps. everyone needs a carbon monoxide detector and smoke detector! Pets and children are especially vulnerable.